Tesla Introduces Retro Line of Malibus Featuring AM Radios

Reno, NV — Tesla, Inc. is back in the news this week on the heels of a successful quarter. First, the upstart car company announced at the Reno Grand Car Show that it plans to release a “retro” line of the 1980s fitted with modern Tesla technologies. However, the company also announced that the new-old line of vehicles would feature power windows and AM Radios, something missing from Tesla’s modern fleet.

“It’s clear what Elon Musk is trying to do,” said Car and Driver Magazine associate editor Larry Stephenson. “He’s trying to appeal to aging Baby Boomers’ nostalgia. They’re now at the age of looking backward and doing things like genealogy. Well, Musk is tapping into that. So I’m looking forward to a Chevy Malibu that runs correctly.”

Several limited-run models Tesla is exploring include replicas of the 1979 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am and a more practical 1982 Chevrolet Malibu, famous for falling apart at freeway speeds. In addition, Tesla hopes to spark interest in people approaching retirement.

“It’s a brilliant move in terms of them expanding their market share,” continued Mr. Stephenson.

Mr. Musk made a few comments at the Reno Grand Car Show regarding the new models. First, the billionaire entrepreneur said they would reuse old chassis from salvage models and then fit them with modern technologies. Musk thinks this will dramatically cut costs and make Teslas even more accessible to everyday people.

Roy Riffle
Roy Rifflehttps://www.facebook.com/roy.riffle.5
Our youngest columnist, Roy Riffle gained fortune, though not necessarily fame, when at 9 years old he coined the phrase "Obey Your Thirst". Some of his smugness stems from "having read the bible and understanding the metaphors." Roy is currently the only Millennial on Gish Gallop payroll. And hopefully the last.

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