Area Woman to Sell Tin Foil Hats on

Merrilee Longshoes wearing one of her tin foil hats

North San Juan, CA Like many others in Nevada County, Merrilee Longshoes is concerned about her family’s health, and how it is being negatively impacted by electromagnetic radiation. EMR is generated by all wireless devices, including cell phone towers, smart phones, microwave ovens, and PG&E’s smart meters.

“This radiation is very dangerous for our health,” she declared from her North San Juan home. “I’ve had migraines for years, and I’m convinced it’s because of the cell phone tower on the hill,” she explained, gesturing towards her left. “And my kids are restless and cranky all the time,” she lamented. “The government’s trying to control us. Something’s got to be done!”

Ms. Longshoes explained that she had purchased an orgonite on Etsy, and that seemed to help. Orgonite, which is made of bits of metal, crystals and other objects embedded in resin, is claimed to convert negative energy into positive energy.

“None of us sleep well, and now my husband Chamba is at risk for prostate cancer,” Mrs. Longshoes continued. “The orgonite was a good start, but it’s too heavy to carry around with you, so I did some research to find a portable protector.”

What she came up with was tin foil hats. Actually made of aluminum foil, the hats protect the wearer’s head from EMR, blocking the radiation waves. As an added bonus, the foil also blocks any mind control that the government is attempting to impose.


Mrs. Longshoes' Etsy page
Ms. Longshoes’ Etsy page

“They worked so well for all of us that I decided to open up a shop on Etsy and sell them there” Ms. Longshoes exclaimed. Etsy is an online website that allows individuals to sell their handmade goods. “I only opened my site a month ago, and I’ve already sold five hats” she said with a big smile.

Her Etsy store is called Tin Foil Hats 4 U, and it sells just one item, the tin foil hat. Her description packs quite a punch. It reads:

“This hat is to PROTECT you from the ELECTROMAGNETIC WAVES that the GOVERNMENT is pumping into the air with TECHNOLOGY like cell phone towers and Smart Meters. DON’T let them CONTROL your MIND! WAKE UP, SHEEPLE! The New World Order is coming and the REPTILOIDS will be your overlords if you do not wake up and RESIST! Comes with an adjustable inner Velcro band.”

In addition to helping the well-being of the community, Ms. Longshoes is pleased about the added income.

Harry Balserhaught
Harry Balserhaught
Harry Balserhaught joins Gish Gallop from a prosperous career in Industrial Landscape painting and design. He also moonlights as a writer for several investigative publications including the San Francisco Chronicle, The Nation and Cat Fancy. Mr. Balserhaught is semi-retired and a neighbor of Nevada County Gish Gallop President and fellow North San Juan resident Louis “Lou” LaPlante, however he has no interest in alpacas. Despite this, Mr. LaPlante asked Mr. Balserhaught to join Gish Gallop staff due to his uncanny ability to “get along” with other North San Juan citizens. Mr. Balserhaught is married to his second wife Faye, after his first died in a suspicious laundromat accident in Berkeley, CA. He has 2 dogs, 1 cat, and 3 mouthy children who never call.

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