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Cleveland Sam

Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.
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National News

Tom Cruise Leaves Scientology

Tom Cruise announced yesterday that he was leaving the Church of Scientology to avoid hefty tax penalties after the the church recently lost its tax-exempt status.
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National News

Police Drug Dog Busted For Selling Narcotics

Police forces have deployed drug sniffing dogs for years now. They have become a valuable asset in the war on drugs. It came as a shock when Buzz, Oakland Police Department drug sniffing dog, was caught selling catnip to neighborhood cats.
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National News

Self-proclaimed “Patriot” Angry Over National Anthem Protest

Steve Landon of Tyler, Texas is a true American Patriot who is outraged by the lack of respect for America at NFL games.
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Satire

Warner Bros. Toons Protest Open Carry Rule

Warner Bros® Looney Toon™ characters are protesting a controversial open carry rule. This rule would allow for open carry of anvils and other Acme® weapons. Protest spokesperson, Daffy Duck granted an interview to The Fazzler.
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National News

U.S. Geological Survey: Yellowstone Eruption Imminent

This morning the US Geological Survey (USGS), issued an alert warning that an eruption is imminent.
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Satire

The Cowardly Lion Killed By Trophy Hunters

Sad news broke today that beloved childhood character, The Cowardly Lion, was killed to day by sport trophy hunters. The Cowardly Lion was best known for his role in "The Wizard Of Oz", filmed in 1939.
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National News

Monsanto Combines Corn With The Flu Vaccine

Monsanto has teamed up with the Centers For Disease Control (CDC) to engineer corn with the flu vaccine already in it. No more shots, simply eat the modified food products and you are protected.
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Living

Eminem to Play Tupac Shakur in New Biopic

Eminem is set to play Tupac Shakur in the upcoming biopic All Eyez on Me, which is set to be released later this year.
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Latest Posts

Iranian Leadership’s Sony PlayStations Reportedly Exploding

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Iranian officials’ PlayStations are reportedly exploding, leaving the ruling class grappling with a new “crisis” while citizens endure far worse hardships. Whether it's Israeli sabotage or just bad wiring, the explosions highlight the absurd disparity between the elite and everyday Iranians. Spoiler: most Iranians don’t even know what a PlayStation 5 is.

Biden-Harris Admin Accused of Using HAARP to Blow Away Florida Voters

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Conspiracy theorists are alleging that the Biden-Harris administration is weaponizing HAARP to control Hurricane Helene and suppress Republican voters in Florida. Theories of mind control, 5G nanoparticles, and chemtrails swirl, but Caltech astrophysicist Dr. Tral Aldrich debunks the claims, tiredly reminding everyone that HAARP is a research facility, not a joystick for manipulating elections or the weather.

The Entire John Steinbeck Catalog Now a 5-Minute TikTok Video

Loretta Splitair - 0
Tom Joad stands in disbelief as his family’s struggle is transformed into a five-minute TikTok sensation. Their story, once defined by hardship and dignity, is now a viral meme, shared and forgotten in seconds. As the world scrolls past, Tom realizes that in this digital age, human suffering is nothing more than content for a blind and fleeting audience.

Haitian Cat Allegedly Eats Springfield Trump Supporter

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
In Springfield, OH, Mittens the cat is under investigation for allegedly eating a Trump supporter after a heated debate over the 2020 election results. Outrage is sweeping certain political circles, with claims of a Democrat-led conspiracy involving weaponized pets. Meanwhile, sane locals are tired of the media circus and wonder when people will start focusing on real issues—like potholes.

Alex Jones Claims Biden Conspired to Keep 20-Piece Chicken McNuggets Over $10

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Alex Jones is back with a crispy new conspiracy: Biden’s colluding with Big Chicken to keep 20-piece McNuggets over $10, as part of a sinister plot to control the masses through overpriced fast food. He warns of the rise of nuggets as currency and a looming sauce shortage. You thought the economy was complicated? Think again.

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Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 21
A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane and Promises to Stop the Geoengineering Program

Michael Stephen - 1600
Former President Donald Trump inspected a chemtrail-equipped Boeing 767 at Andrews Air Force Base, vowing to dismantle the controversial program. Joined by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Trump aims to redirect funds to infrastructure and his border wall. The plan faces significant hurdles, including Congressional approval and Senate resistance, but anti-chemtrail activists are cautiously optimistic.

Family Cited For Viking Funeral on Local Lake

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffer the loss of the family's patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home.

Local Militia Attempts to Reopen Denny’s

Roy Riffle - 0
A Placer County self-proclaimed 'patriot militia' attempted to re-open a Newcastle Denny's restaurant.

Bilderberg Group to Meet in Sierra City in 2025

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
The annual private meeting of North American and European elites known as the Bilderberg Group announced this week that they will be holding their annual conference at Herrington's Sierra Pines Resort in June of 2022.

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