Blue’s Clues Wins Bluetooth Trademark Infringement Lawsuit

The iconic American children's television program Blue's Clues has won a huge lawsuit.
The iconic American children’s television program Blue’s Clues has won a huge lawsuit.

New York, NY — The popular American children’s program Blue’s Clues has won a landmark trademark infringement lawsuit against the manufactures of wireless Bluetooth devices. A New York City judge has award Out of the Blue Enterprises, the production company responsible  to the television show, 47.09 billion dollars or one dollar and nine cents for each of the  47.09 billion Bluetooth devices on Earth.

“This an important decision for private and intellectual property,” said Fernwood Z. Frischland, Esq who represented Blue’s Clues speaking outside of New York District Court 14. “It’s like Voltaire said: ‘I may disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. While I personally disagree with suing a something as ubiquitous as a radio technology, I had to do it on principle for myself and my professional. I’d even sue myself over it, which I’m considering. Besides, who can get that god-damned technology to work anyway?”

Many people expressed outrage over the decision.

“God I hate that program,” said Omaha, Nebraska resident and father of two young children Jim Stedson. “Every time that show came on, I wanted to gouge my eyes and ears out with a dull spoon. Just answer the frickin’ questions.”

According to the judgment, for each Bluetooth enabled device you own, you must write a personal check in the amount of $1.09 to Blue’s Clues. Each check must arrive in New York City By December 31st, 2017 or face not only deactivation, but fines approaching $.25/month.

Roy Riffle
Roy Riffle
Our youngest columnist, Roy Riffle gained fortune, though not necessarily fame, when at 9 years old he coined the phrase "Obey Your Thirst". Some of his smugness stems from "having read the bible and understanding the metaphors." Roy is currently the only Millennial on Gish Gallop payroll. And hopefully the last.

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