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Oprah Winfrey Buys Entire Graduating Class Electric Cars

In a move that surprised even fans of the famous media mogul, television star Oprah Winfrey bought the entire graduating class of Jerome Ross Academy brand new electric cars.

TSA Luggage Disaster Blamed on Mercury Retrograde

After thousands of bags have become lost or misplaced at airports across the country, officials at Phoenix's Sky Harbor Airport blamed the mishaps on an astrological phenomena called "Mercury Retrograde."

“Santorum Slips Out” Says Spokesperson

Former United States Senator Rick Santorum, an anti-women's rights and anti-homosexual activist, has suspended his campaign for the presidency citing some slippery details that he'd "rather not get into."

Monsanto Combines Corn With The Flu Vaccine

Monsanto has teamed up with the Centers For Disease Control (CDC) to engineer corn with the flu vaccine already in it. No more shots, simply eat the modified food products and you are protected.

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