High Horse Sales Soar in Wake of Tragedy

Monroe, TX — A day after a terrible, tragic shooting that claimed the lives of fifty people, the demand for a popular horse breed has skyrocketed. High Horses are typically purchased by those with the highest morality and superior intelligence. High horse riders know what is best for the country and how to fix our problems.

The Fazzler spoke with Ed of Ed’s High Horse sales about who his customer base consists of.

“Well, it seems political affiliation is not a deciding factor. We get Liberals and Conservatives in here to buy”, said Ed. “Usually, they just think they are right, and nothing you can say will sway their opinions. It’s a darn shame that these tragedies are what drive my sales up”.

The high horse breed goes back to the biblical days. They stand taller than any other horse, so more people can hear what the rider says. The high horses are specially trained to whinny loudly whenever someone tries to talk to their rider. High horses are also long-lived, living as old as most humans. Humans and high horses are often companions for life.

Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.

More from author

Related posts

Advertisment

Latest posts

Tim Hortons Installs Canadian Space Arm at Ottawa Location

Tim Hortons has unveiled a surprising new addition to its flagship Ottawa location: the Canadarm. Known for its crucial roles on the Space Shuttle and International Space Station, this iconic piece of Canadian engineering will now be serving coffee and donuts to delighted patrons. Dubbed the "Timbitsarm," this futuristic barista promises to bring a touch of zero-gravity magic to the everyday coffee experience, making morning routines in Ottawa more extraordinary than ever.

Louisiana Teacher Under Fire for Posting 10 Commandments in Pig Latin

History teacher Bernie Carver stirred controversy by displaying the Ten Commandments in Pig Latin, provoking ire from conservative parents. Earl "Big Earl" LeJeune fumed, "This is part of a larger conspiracy. Next, they'll be speaking French! And you know what they say about French – it's the language of the devil!"