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Brentwood, CA — Local citizens are outraged at an area horse named Stevie Ray for consistently voting nay in local elections. Stevie Ray made national news two years ago when he was granted citizenship after saving a family from a house fire. Ever since becoming a citizen, Stevie Ray has voted in every local election.

Brentwood, California city councilman Karen Haircomplaint spoke to The Fazzler about Stevie Ray.

“That pessimistic bastard ruined everything!” said Haircomplaint. “I had a sweet tax abatement deal for my bike shop up for a vote… not after that four-legged asshole had the deciding vote, wouldn’t you know it… Nay!”

The angry citizens do have a legitimate gripe, however. Stevie Ray has voted 24 times, with each vote a Nay. But Stevie Ray does have some local support.

Carla Cummers, a local activist, lounge singer, and water flotation therapy specialist, had some positive things to say about him.

“I think it is wonderful that they rewarded him with citizenship. I wish my 36 cats could have that dignity. They deserve it,” commented Cummers. “So what if he votes nay all the time? As long as he votes with his conscience, who can fault him?”

Some angry citizens have started a petition to strip Stevie Ray of his rights as a citizen. The petition has rallied all Stevie Ray’s supporters, who have come out in force on social media. They have come up with an anti-petition slogan, “Say Nay for Stevie Ray!”

We reached out to Stevie Ray for an interview, to which he replied, “Nay.”

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Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.