Indy 500 Winner Alexander Rossi’s Car Powered by Hemp Oil

Alexander Rossi's winning vehicle.
Alexander Rossi’s winning vehicle.

Indianapolis, IN — Following the stunning win of the Indianapolis 500,  Alexander Rossi revealed the secret to his success: hemp oil. The 24-year-old Nevada City, CA  native said he’s been using a hemp oil fuel mixture for over 2 years with great success.

“We’ve been using it for almost two years,” said a glowing Mr. Rossi during an interview this week. “We get it from the North San Juan Ridge and this stuff has been magic.”

According to race car insiders, the hemp oil mixture can provide an additional 197 horsepower per gallon of fuel. Few seem to know about this magic elixir, but Mr. Rossi isn’t into keeping secrets.

“Look, this stuff is great,” continued Mr. Rossi. “And I have a special supplier, so I’m not too worried about losing ground to the competition. I will tell you one thing, though. The sativa is what you want. The indica oil actually subtracts power, but has a smoother ride.”

It’s unclear at the time of this writing whether other drivers will embrace what is now being called the “Rossi Revolution,” but given his tremendous win, it’s hard to believe that others won’t be adopting his new fuel mixture.

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

More from author


Related posts


Latest posts

Louisiana Teacher Under Fire for Posting 10 Commandments in Pig Latin

History teacher Bernie Carver stirred controversy by displaying the Ten Commandments in Pig Latin, provoking ire from conservative parents. Earl "Big Earl" LeJeune fumed, "This is part of a larger conspiracy. Next, they'll be speaking French! And you know what they say about French – it's the language of the devil!"

Metallica’s James Hetfield Celebrates a PhD in Astrophysics

Metallica heavy metal guitarist and lead singer James Hetfield announced on his personal Facebook page that he had just finished defending his PhD dissertation at California Institute of Technology in Pasadena (CalTech), CA