Alt-Right Mascot, Pepe the Frog, Accidentally Eaten at Area Cafe

Alt-Right mascot Pepe the Frog was accidentally sauteed and eaten at a local restaurant.
Alt-Right mascot Pepe the Frog was accidentally sauteed and eaten at a local restaurant.

Nevada City, CA Pepe the Frog, beloved mascot of the alt-right movement, was inadvertently sauteed and consumed at Ike’s Quarter Cafe in Nevada City yesterday afternoon.

Pepe, whose avatar is used by many commenters on 4chan, Reddit, and Breitbart News, was sitting in the outdoor terraced dining area when he was approached by the busser, Tyler “Earbud” Fulcrum.

“He was just sitting there at an outside table, like he was, you know, going to order something off the menu,” said Fulcrum. “I knew that an order of frog legs had arrived that morning, so I thought he might have escaped.”  Upon turning over the protesting frog to the kitchen, Fulcrum continued, “chef just grabbed him from me and just whacked him with a cleaver. It was quick and painless, I guess.”

Head Chef Andre Grenouille, who’s been working at Ike’s for several years had this to say of the incident.

“I thought this fellow had escaped and I had to get him into the hot pan with the others as soon as possible,” ruminated Mr.  Grenouille. “Then I sauteed him with one tablespoon butter, one crushed garlic clove, one half teaspoon of fresh ground cayenne pepper, one tablespoon of minced parsley, and a dash of Indian Springs Chardonnay 2009. He was served on a bed of wilted collard greens, hush puppies, a sprig of tarragon, and a wedge of locally sourced lemon.”  He added with reverence in his voice, “it was all very respectful, and we at Ike’s Quarter Cafe sincerely regret the mistake.”

Pepe was served to the renowned restaurant critic, Bartholomew Twigg of Wired eCuisine who was there to review the cafe’s signature Cajun fare. Twigg described his dining experience as “a superlative example of the Cajun-French cuisine vernacular. There were hints of garlic with very little amphibian aftertaste which can easily mar this classic dish. I rate this four and a half stars out of five,” added Twigg. “Since ingesting this particular unfortunate frog, however, I have developed a strange attraction to President Bannon and the power he possesses. Hopefully, this will pass.”

While some commenters from 4Chan and Breitbart News had rallied in shared mourning for their little green friend, others were less forgiving.

“You are messing with great forces of the Internet unknown underground,” exclaimed  user ‘4378439273′ of 4chan.

DieLibrulScumDie from Reddit opined, “we will never forget how Pepe gave us a common bond with his totally insane frogness, warts and all.”  Another reddit regular, DenizenOfPeeps, stated, “Meh, He WZ a frog. JST git NOTHER1 + GET A LIFE 2, N00b LOOSERS!” before getting IP banhammered by the moderator.

Xander X. Xanthangum
Xander X. Xanthangum
Xander X. Xanthangum is a blogger/news writer whose credits include submitting questionable and unsourced articles to the Gish Gallop and Broad Street Beacon. He is a metamodernist writer in the post-post-post-post modernist sense, whose goal as an artist and journalist is to subvert, hijack, and appropriate modernity and post-modernity. If you even know what the fuck this means, good for you.

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