Liberal CA Town Bans Scented Laundry Products

Nevada City, CA — The city council of Nevada City passed an ordinance last week which will restrict and, in some cases, ban scented laundry products. The new law, which is considered the first in the nation, “provides relief to ‘sensitives’ who are impacted by the fragrances of corporate cleaners.”

The first phase, set to take place this January, will restrict all scented laundry products in the historic district and require activated carbon filters for homes and businesses outside downtown.

“Laundry soap is bad enough, but those dryer sheets are truly disgusting,” said long-time resident and local ‘scent sensitive’ Carole Bellstwat. “Scented dryer sheets should be illegal. Every time my neighbor does their laundry, I get gassed out by the headache-inducing smell.”

Not everyone is happy about the new law.

“This is the same neighbor who refuses to clear the giant cluster of dead and dying Manzanita at the top of a steep hill in a high wildfire risk neighborhood,” said a neighbor of Ms. Bellswat who wished to remain anonymous for fear of “woo army” backlash. “It’s just stupid, and no one is going to follow it.”

Proctor and Gamble, a large maker of the popular Tide brand of laundry products, said it was concerned about the new ordinance and has not ruled out legal action to stop.

“We do respect a community’s right to govern themselves, preventing a whole class of cleaning products is something we are concerned about,” said P&G spokesperson Bethany Millbight. “So, we’re looking into several different remedies at this point.”

Buried in the new ordinance are provisions to ban other cleaning and scented products, including dishwashing liquid and spray scent maskers like Fabreeze over the next five years.

Roy Riffle
Roy Riffle
Our youngest columnist, Roy Riffle gained fortune, though not necessarily fame, when at 9 years old he coined the phrase "Obey Your Thirst". Some of his smugness stems from "having read the bible and understanding the metaphors." Roy is currently the only Millennial on Gish Gallop payroll. And hopefully the last.

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