Researchers Discover Ancient Petroglyph in California Lake

A group of archaeologists from Brigham Young and Southern Methodist University have discovered what appears to be an ancient petroglyph.
A group of archaeologists from Brigham Young and Southern Methodist University have discovered what appears to be an ancient petroglyph. Source: Google Earth-ish.

Nevada City, CA — In an astonishing announcement that has thrown the anthropology community into a great debate, a group of archaeologists from Brigham Young and Southern Methodist University have discovered what appears to be an ancient petroglyph at the bottom of Scotts Flat Lake just outside of Nevada City, California. The announcement, which was made earlier this week, was a part of a 4-month underwater study that even surprised the team leaders.

“You have to understand the kind of environment that we’ve been operating in,” said lead SMU anthropologist and group representative Henry “Hank” Starnes, Ph.D. of the archaeological team. “Our funding dried up a couple of months ago, so we’ve been relying on graduate students to find the artifact for us. Well, one particularly bright student Aethan Caramon used Google Earth to find this amazing discovery. We’ve made 3 dives now, and can no confirm there is something down there.”

The joint university team was called upon the deep diving mission after their successful Biblical “dig” in Nevada City, CA. Because of their successes in excavating what they believe is Noah’s Ark in the quaint former Gold Rush town in the Sierra Nevada foothills, they were assigned this task of finding petroglyphs around North America. This discovery, which has startled researchers who specialize in such things, is said to be the largest known underwater petroglyph in the world if it turns out to be true.

“It’s over 100 meters long and about 25 meters wide,” continued Dr. Starnes. “And it was a complete accident that Aethan discovered it. He has the contrast turned all the way up on his computer monitor which revealed the petroglyph.”

The immediate area around the petroglyph is closed to the public, however, the rest of the lake remains open to visitors. Officials are asking that people stay away from the researchers and avoid making large wakes with their power boats.

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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