Vladimir Putin to Honor Nevada City Resident

Russian President Vladimir Putin is set to award Nevada City Resident Sairhra Ruman the Russian Federation Star Medallion for her work in exposing the global Jewish conspiracy to control the economy.
Russian President Vladimir Putin is set to award Nevada City Resident Sairhra Ruman the Russian Federation Star Medallion for her work in exposing the global Jewish conspiracy to control the economy.

Moscow, Soviet Russia — Current Russian Federation President Vladimir Putin is set to honor Nevada City resident Sairhra Ruman in what is said to the be the first award ever received by an American. The controversial Russian leader made this announcement during one of his popular “call in” he hosts once a month from the Скетчинг и дизайн Auditorium in Moscow.

“I wish more Americans were tough like Sairhra,” said President Putin during his broadcast via a translator. “Americans are like sheep and their leaders are brought to the slaughter by the capitalist banks and bankers. She said I was reasonable, and that give me hope that America will not be a threat to the rest of the world.”

According to the Putin Administration, Ms. Ramun will receive the Russian Federation Star Medallion for her work in exposing the global Jewish conspiracy to control the economy.  It’s the highest honor any non-Russian citizen can receive. The last recipient was the late President of Venezuela Hugo Chavez after he successfully silenced hundreds of journalists in 2009.

However critics point out that Putin is a de facto dictator who employs Stalinist tactics to eliminate his enemies, most notably using his power to crush and murder journalists who disagree or criticize him. When confronted with this criticism, Ms. Ramun bristled.

“The west is clearly mounting efforts to start a war with Russia,” said Ms. Ruman via a megaphone on Nevada City’s Broad Street, frightening several tourists. “Wake up sheeple. Your elections are being stolen from you. It’s time to make our country great again like Putin has done with Russia. The bankers and elites are turning you into obedient minions. Time to wake up.”

There is no word on when the prestigious Putin award will arrive in Nevada City, but according to the Kremlin, it is likely to happen on the President’s annual fishing trip to the Yuba River in early September.

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelsteinhttps://www.broadstreetbeacon.com
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

More from author

Related posts

Advertisment

Latest posts

Sotheby’s To Auction Off Original Prototype of MyPillow

Sotheby’s stuns with a once-in-a-lifetime auction, offering the original MyPillow prototype—purportedly stuffed with the essence of the American dream—set to redefine luxury sleep and history, one overpriced, patriotically infused bid at a time.

McDonald’s Bids Farewell to Epstein Island’s Last Golden Arches Amid Controversial Legacy

The McDonald’s on Epstein Island has shuttered its windows for good, marking the end of what the company now refers to as a "misguided adventure in international franchising." The closure comes amidst a whirlwind of controversy and a belated corporate acknowledgment that some locations, no matter how potentially profitable, are better left un-McTouched.

Bombshell Uncovered: Hunter S. Thompson’s Lost ‘Dr. Strangelove’ Audition

A recently unearthed photograph has revealed the unimaginable: Hunter S. Thompson, king of gonzo journalism, once commandeered the captain’s seat of a B-52, not in the throes of a drug-fueled fantasy, but as a contender for the iconic role in Kubrick’s 'Dr. Strangelove.' The discovery challenges everything we thought we knew about the man who lived on the edge of American sanity.