Nevada County Offers Free Driving Lessons For Subaru and Prius Owners

Nevada City, CA — The Board of Supervisors announced a new program targeted at Nevada County’s increasing bad driver epidemic. In a 3-2 vote, with Ed Scofield and Dan Miller voting against, the county will now offer free driving lessons for all Subaru and Prius owners beginning in January 2019. According to a memo released by Rood Center, all Nevada County residents will be eligible for the program.

“It is the hope of this ordinance,” the memo reads, “that drivers of Priuses and Subarus of all years and models will come forward for this once in a lifetime opportunity to refine their basic road skills. It is the hope of the Board that this will improve the quality in and around Nevada County and reduce anger on our streets.”

According to a recent study commissioned by the county and conducted by the Palo Alto-based research firm, the Rundex Family Foundation, Nevada County has the highest number of both Subaru and Prius drivers in the State. And the second-highest, just behind Washington, in the country. The County also suffers from a high ‘Driver Frustration Index,’ which is a number produced by the United States Department of Transportation or DOT.

What the Study Said

“Well, the data doesn’t lie,” said lead Rundex Researcher Robert Colvin. “I mean, the negatives [negative numbers] are off the charts. People do not understand the Right of Way. People are stopping to wave while circling the county’s numerous Roundabouts. And this one,” as Mr. Colvin reported to a colorful chart on page 420 of the report. “There’s this what we call ‘stall phenomena.’ That’s where four people arrive at a stop sign and wave each other through at the same time. There are incidents of people waiting as much as 4 minutes to move. It’s a real problem.”

Due to the high number of Priuses and Subarus per capita in the county, reaching an astounding 1 of each per every three citizens, the county decided it was time to act given the correlation.

“Something had to be done,” said District 1 Supervisor Heidi Hall. “It’s getting ridiculous out there, to be honest. Just the other day, there was a huge backup on 49. It turns out. It was just a bunch of Subarus heading up the Gold Run grade at 30 miles per hour. Why? Well, that’s what we hope to fix.”

The program is free to all Subaru and Prius owners in the county. Participants must show ID and pass an ‘in and out’ test on the area’s Roundabouts. Honda CRVs almost made the cut, but according to Ms. Hall, as the topic was raised, Supervisors Scofield and Miller had fallen asleep during the procedural vote.

Roy Riffle
Roy Rifflehttps://www.facebook.com/roy.riffle.5
Our youngest columnist, Roy Riffle gained fortune, though not necessarily fame, when at 9 years old he coined the phrase "Obey Your Thirst". Some of his smugness stems from "having read the bible and understanding the metaphors." Roy is currently the only Millennial on Gish Gallop payroll. And hopefully the last.

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