Grass Valley Man Rescues Stranded Cat Atop of McDonald’s Sign

Grass Valley, CA — A Grass Valley tree cutter wanted a quarter pounder with cheese as he made his way through the remodeled McDonald’s drive-thru on the Nevada City Highway on  Wednesday. What he didn’t order was a cat.

As Greg Reagan (no relation to the former President, he claims) made his way to the second drive-thru pickup window, he spotted what he thought was a bird perched atop the fast-food giant’s sign. However, according to Mr. Reagan, he always looks up for critters, as is the standard practice before cutting down large trees around Nevada County.

“I pulled into the parking lot to scarf my Quarter Pounder when I looked up at the sign,” Reagan said. “And then I said to myself, ‘that’s no bird. That must be a cat. How the heck did it get up there?'”

The 8-year Samson Tree Services veteran decided to scale the pole and rescue the cat.

“It’s just what I do.”

Grass Valley Man Rescues Stranded Cat Atop of McDonald's Sign
Grass Valley’s Greg Reagan seen here scaling the McDonald’s sign to rescue a distressed cat.

“It’s just what I do,” continued Reagan. “I mean, I guess I’m used to this stuff because I do it all the time, you know? I just thought about that poor cat up there. Probably scared.”

As Mr. Reagan scaled the pole, traffic stopped, and a small crowd grew to point up as he reached the top. Upon seeing the commotion, a restaurant patron summoned McDonald’s assistant manager Anita Lay. She immediately called 9-11.

“I didn’t know quite what to do,” said Ms. Lay speaking with Sacramento CBS 13 News later in the day. “Would anyone? I just knew the owners would be very unhappy with such a dangerous stunt.”

“You can’t do stuff like this.”

When police arrived on the scene, they told Mr. Reagan that he needed to come down despite already reaching the top of the sign and seizing the terrified cat.

“You can’t do stuff like this,” said Grass Valley officer Dick Swett who was first on the scene. “I understand the good Samaritan part of this, but it’s illegal trespassing to climb a commercial sign like this, even though I was happy the cat was OK.”

“Look, why does my love of my new cat–how does any of this pertain to heights or fear of them?” Continued Reagan. “This should be a feel-good story, and you’re[the police and McDonald’s] turning it into something dangerous as you guys do. By the way, his name is Mel. At least that’s what he told me.”

Mr. Reagan was cited for trespassing and public engagement but not arrested. As a result, police allowed him to keep the cat, which unfortunately ran away as soon as the two returned to his home.

“Well, you know. Easy come. Easy go. But like I said. It’s no big deal. It’s who I am.”

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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