Green Party Meeting Awkwardly Interrupted By Uber Eats Delivery

Nevada City, CA  — A monthly Green Party meeting was interrupted when its chairman accepted an Uber Eats delivery. Central Committee chairman Derrick Packard ordered lunch for his crew via the popular home delivery food service, not realizing how much he had contributed to Nevada County’s carbon footprint.

Uber Eats is an American online food ordering and delivery platform launched by Uber in 2014 and based in San Francisco, California. Users can read menus, order, and pay for food from participating restaurants using an application.

Although home delivery food services cut down on food waste because Americans do not understand grocery stores anymore, some critics claim environmental damage due to increased packaging and transportation emissions.

The monthly Green party meeting, hosted at Mr. Packard’s Cottage Street home, became silent when the Uber Eats driver arrived and entered the room. Mr. Packard introduced driver Adrian Dyer to the team. He had food from Lefty’s, Pine Street Burgers, and to the dismay of several attendees, seven orders of Jack-n-Box Tacos and an Oreo milkshake.

“We figure Derrick just missed a beat,” said Green Party Treasurer and fellow Cottage Street resident Stacy Grant. “I mean, we were all hungry, but the UberEats guy showed up in this filthy Buick, blasting loud music. That’s not very environmentally sound.”

When asked who ordered the fast-food tacos, Ms. Grant rolled her eyes.

“Those were for Doob’s,” speaking of local fixture and slouch Toby “Doob” Carnevale, who had crashed the meeting hoping to find a free meal. “He grabbed Derrick’s phone when he wasn’t looking and added the tacos on. I don’t even know why he’s here.”

According to committee participants, Mr. Packard apologized for his mistake, promising not to use anything other than produce from his garden for the next meeting. Mr. Carnevale ate all 14 tacos and then immediately left the meeting. Uber Eats driver Adrian Dyer says he did not receive a tip, which he said is typical of “these people.”

Roy Riffle
Roy Riffle
Our youngest columnist, Roy Riffle gained fortune, though not necessarily fame, when at 9 years old he coined the phrase "Obey Your Thirst". Some of his smugness stems from "having read the bible and understanding the metaphors." Roy is currently the only Millennial on Gish Gallop payroll. And hopefully the last.

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