Spotify Changes Name to N-Word

New York, NY — Swedish-based online streaming service Spotify announced over the weekend that it plans to change its name to the n-word. The company’s executives agonized over what to do about recent accusations of racism and inclusivity violations when its leadership finally decided to attack the issue head-on.

Company spokesperson Bethany Millbright said that after considering similar strategies by Facebook, who recently changed their name to Meta, Vice President of Marketing Swill Taggart came up with a brilliant idea: rather than run from the controversy, embrace it.

“During a recent offsite meeting, our brightest minds decided that the best course of action was to embrace our new superstar Joe Rogan. He’s the company’s future, and rather than hide from this new reality. We should become it.”

The primary motivation behind the decision, according to Ms. Millbright, was that people are quick to forget. But there’s more.

“Since the word will be blurred out just about everywhere, we’re betting that this new form of blurred communication might be just the kind of thing young people are looking for. Fuzzy. Nondescript. Vague. Just like the world around them. We’re rolling out new blurry products every day. Next week, we’re releasing blurry breaking news.”

In February 2022, Spotify removed about 70 episodes of The Joe Rogan Experience. Musician India Arie shared a compilation of clips in which Rogan used the “n-word” on the podcast and a clip in which Rogan appears to liken being around black people with the film Planet of the Apes. Although Rogan later admitted he was blurry and that “no one should take him seriously, just like Tucker Carlson.”

Roy Riffle
Roy Riffle
Our youngest columnist, Roy Riffle gained fortune, though not necessarily fame, when at 9 years old he coined the phrase "Obey Your Thirst". Some of his smugness stems from "having read the bible and understanding the metaphors." Roy is currently the only Millennial on Gish Gallop payroll. And hopefully the last.

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