Theo Huxtable To Replace Cosby As Jell-O Spokesman

Theo Huxtable to be the new face of Jell-O brand gelatin desserts.
Theo Huxtable to be the new face of Jell-O brand gelatin desserts.

Northfield, IL — Kraft Foods, makers of the popular gelatin dessert food thing Jell-O announced on Friday that it would be replacing long-time spokesman Bill Cosby with former Cosby Show son Theo Huxtable.

“Theo Huxtable is the perfect choice for Jell-O brands, ” said CEO W. Anthony Verrnon in a Kraft release. “He has the wholesome good face that America needs during this existential Bill Cosby crisis.”

In 2014 journalist Joan Tarshis, model Janice Dickinson, actress Louisa Moritz, actor Lou Ferrigno’s wife Carla Ferrigno, Florida nurse Therese Serignese, and numerous other women similarly alleged that Bill Cosby drugged, sexually assaulted and/or raped them between 1965 and 1992. Cosby declined to address the allegations in several interviews. None of these accusations has been tested in court and Cosby has repeatedly denied or ignored the claims.

Theodore Aloysius “Theo” Huxtable is the middle child and only son of Cliff and Clair Huxtable, and is athletic and obsessed with impressing girls, and obtaining a sports car or motorcycle. He was fourteen years old when he played the part of Bill Cosby’s son, making his birth year 1970. The actor, played by 44 year old actor Malcolm-Jamal Warner has not accepted the offer, and according to insiders this is the first time he’s heard about it. The Fazzler is unsure whether he even likes Jell-O.

Roy Riffle
Roy Riffle
Our youngest columnist, Roy Riffle gained fortune, though not necessarily fame, when at 9 years old he coined the phrase "Obey Your Thirst". Some of his smugness stems from "having read the bible and understanding the metaphors." Roy is currently the only Millennial on Gish Gallop payroll. And hopefully the last.

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