Living
Ron Desantis Signs Bill to Store Nuclear Waste at Disney World
Florida's Governor DeSantis signs the "Magic Kingdom Meltdown Act," allowing nuclear waste storage at Disney World. Goofy, now the head of the Radioactive Barrel Brigade, accidentally spills barrels of waste near Cinderella Castle. DeSantis remains optimistic, suggesting new radioactive attractions for the park while brushing off safety concerns.
National News
Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) released a statement saying that we're doomed and have no hope.
Living
Meet the Texas Middle School That Replaced Textbooks with Bibles
The move has been met with overwhelming support from the community, with most of the town praising the school for its commitment to religious education and safety.
Satire
Nevada City Experimenting with Man Bun Tax
Nevada City will be the first in the nation to experiment with a "man bun tax."
Satire
Facebook to Ban All Flat Earth Groups
In a rare tweet from Mark Zuckerberg, the social media giant Facebook has announced it will be eliminating all groups associated with, or related to spreading, flat earth propaganda from its social media platform.
Art
Sacramento City College Grants Joe Rogan Honorary AA Degree
Mr. Rogan plans no immediate career changes but is open to teaching a few classes.
Satire
Staged Mass Shootings on the Rise
Local doomsday "prepper"and gun store assistant manager Jason Dant issued a warning to all citizens of the United States early this week.
Satire
Critical Race Theory is Turning Kids into Nickelback Fans
The news has also been met with outrage from random people in Florida.
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